A MISERABLY HAPPY LIFE

14^th of November is children’s day in India. It is so called because it is the birth anniversary of Pt. Jawaharlal Nehru, the first prime minister of India, a man who loved children. Little do people know that Dr. Birbal Sahni, one of the most intelligent minds of modern India was born on the same day. People call me Nehru because I share the same birthday as him, but me, I prefer to be known as Pratik Tondwalkar because that is my real name. it is not that I have something against Nehru or Sahni. Just that I like being myself, living my own life, making my own friends. Sometimes I feel that my life is so horribly fucked up that I wish to cry. It is not easy for a 17 year old boy to just break down and cry not because it feels gay but I have been stopping myself from crying ever since I was 12. I was in my 8^th grade then and my mother was sad, actually, everyone in my family was sad. Mom had to abort my brother because of birth complications. So everyone was sad, of course me too, but never showed it. The reason you wonder? Well I had a choice, adding to the sorrow or bringing in joy. Choosing the latter was one of the best decisions of my life. Mom, who usually understands my pain without me telling her, didn’t have any idea how much sorrow I was holding up in my heart and my mind. And everything was back to normal. Everyone was happy again, the family was smiling. I wanted it to last that’s why I continued to wear the mask of happiness. It turned out that being happy increased the number of my friends and girls started taking interest in me. I liked it, so I didn’t take it off. When my first crush kissed her boyfriend in front of my eyes, I cheered for them. When the closest friend I ever had left me because I fell in love with her, I wished her luck. And being happy was became a part of my persona. Being compassionate became a habit. Being forgiving became a duty. Smiling became an addiction. It all went well, the mask was fixed tight, till one day… the day I realized it wasn’t me. I wasn’t the same Pratik Tondwalkar who used to be shy, had almost no friends, afraid of talking to girls, and then one day I realized I changed for the good. And the journey of my life has only just begun….

what goes away

Are you still with me?
Do you still care?
Or were you just lying
When you said you'd always be there!

You stole my heart
And ripped it in two
But after all this
I still love you!

I remember how
It used to be
I'd do anything for you
Why can't you see?

he's nothing like me
And he's not right for you
Soon you will realize
Our love was true!

But we can't go back
I've made up my mind
I guess a new love
I'll just have to find!

I'll never forget you
In your memories I'll stay
You were my first love
And that doesn't go away!

Crazy science behind love

1. It’s like looking in a mirror!
It turns out we all have a little something in common with Narcissus—the mythical fellow who fell in love with his own reflection. Scientists at the University of Liverpool recently concluded that our brains favor people with familiar faces. The research team asked over 200 participants to view a number of digitally altered human faces. They found that subjects preferred the features they were most familiar with—whether that means our own visage or that of a family member. This may explain that common phenomenon of couples looking like they could be siblings.

2. Manner, schmanners: Go ahead and stare
A new study says that when a woman walks into a room, she is considered more attractive if she turns her eyes directly toward

	The tendency to remain faithful is governed by both genes and societal factors.

a certain man. Men would rate the same woman as less desirable if she doesn’t make strong eye contact. In the study at Dartmouth University, lead researcher Malia Mason had male participants sit and view a series of faces of fashion models, digitally enhanced to either be gazing toward or away from the participant. The study authors asked the viewer to rate the likeability of each model and found that those who turned away were seen as less agreeable. The study’s researchers went on to suggest that a woman’s gaze can be a powerful arousal cue and that our impressions are largely formed by nonverbal communications such as eye contact. So start locking eyes, ladies!

3. You’ll know it when you see it
A recent study at the University of Pennsylvania reveals that regardless of what people say they are looking for in a dating situation, they don’t need a lot of time with or information about a person to tell if they’re interested. Single people’s behavior suggests that individuals know “it” (a person who appeals to them) when they see it—almost instantly. Lead researcher Robert Kurzban and his colleagues studied data from 10,000+ daters. They found that men and women assessed potential compatibility within moments of meeting, using primarily visual cues such as age, height, and attractiveness. Says Kurzban, “Somewhat surprisingly, factors that you might think would be really important to people—like religion, education, and income—played very little role in their choices.”

4. Listen up
The next time you call up a potential love match, pay special attention to how they sound. Researchers at the University of Albany had 149 men and women to rate the attractiveness of a series of recorded voices on a scale from 1 to 10. The researchers also gathered information about the sexual histories of the people whose voices they recorded. They found that the voices found to be the most appealing belonged to people who had sex at an earlier age, had more sexual partners, and were more prone to infidelity than those rated as having less appealing voices. So know that what’s a seductive voice to you may be linked to a person with a bit of a past…

5. I couldn’t help it baby, it’s in my genes
There may be a genetic component to infidelity, says a professor at the Twin Research Unit at St. Thomas’ Hospital, London. This is based on the fact that if one twin exhibits infidelity, the other twin strays 55% of the time. In the general population, the number is 23%. The tendency to remain faithful is a component of personality, the scientist elaborates, which is governed both by a number of genes and societal factors.

6. It’s official: Love makes us crazy
For one thing, it causes serotonin levels in the brain to drop, which may lead people to obsess about their lover. (The levels of serotonin, a chemical produced by the body, are also low in people who have obsessive-compulsive disorder.) Next, it ramps up production of the stress hormone cortisol, leading to slightly

Rosy cheeks are crucial for success in the dating game, says a new study.

higher blood pressure and possibly loss of sleep. Finally, a scientist at the University of London has found that when people look at their new loves, the neural circuits that are usually in charge of social judgment are suppressed. All in all, love kind of leaves you obsessive, stressed, and blind. And we love it.

7. Why broken hearts hurt…
A new study suggests the psychological hurt of a break-up is just as real as a physical injury. Two areas of the brain that respond to physical pain also become activated when a person is dealing with social pain, such as being dumped. The study’s authors at UCLA used an MRI to monitor brain activity in participants while they played a game simulating social rejection. The researchers believe that the pain of being rejected may have evolved as a motivating force that led humans to seek out social interaction, which is crucial for the survival of most mammals.

8. Blushing is best
If we take our cue from apes, rosy cheeks are crucial in the dating game, says a new study. Scientists at Stirling University in Great Britain have found that primates prefer mates with red faces. A rosy glow might also act as a similar cue in humans, say the British researchers, sending a message of good health. They speculate that it could explain why women use blusher.

9. Kiss this way
Did you know there is a “right” way to kiss? People are more likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of left, says a report published recently in the journal Nature. A scientist from Ruhr University in Germany analyzed 124 pairs of smoochers and found that 65 percent go toward the right.

10. Meet for drinks before dinner
Researchers at NYU and Stanford have discovered that hungry men prefer heavier women. By staking out a dining hall, scientists had hundreds of students fill out questionnaires about their preferences in a mate. Men who filled out the questionnaire just before they entered the hall described their ideal woman as an average of three or four pounds heavier than men interviewed after they ate. Incidentally, researchers did not find the same change in women’s preferences, so guys: Go ahead and schedule that drinks date for before or after dinnertime.

How know if shes the one

5 ways to determine if she's right for you

1. The relationship goes smoothly from the beginning. The best relationships I have seen, including my own, happened completely naturally from start to finish. The couple meets, they get along swimmingly, they start dating, and then they get married. My girl and I never had a single dreaded “DTR” (Define the Relationship) during our courtship. Everything about our relationship felt like the most natural thing in the world. We never broke up and got back together. Or even considered doing so. In contrast, many couples break up and get back together numerous times. They fight and then make up and then fight again. I’m not saying that men in such volatile relationships should not get hitched. But the volatility will inevitably continue into the marriage. Whether that volatility is acceptable is up to each individual man and their sense of the strength of that relationship.

2. She gets along well with your family and friends. Now there may be exceptions to this rule: your girlfriend and one of your friends or family members may simply have clashing personality traits. But in general, it is a red flag if your girlfriend does not mix well with your loved ones. Think about it-your family raised you and made you who you are, and you picked your friends based on your common interests and values. If she doesn’t like them and they don’t like her, then it may mean you are not seeing something important about your girlfriend that they see. When you are in love, it often blurs your vision and judgment. Your loved ones have an outsider’s perspective on the relationship. This doesn’t mean you should break up with a woman just because your friends and family don’t like her. If you are sure of your relationship, be confident in moving forward with it. But it is wise to seek honest feedback from others.

3. There is nothing major you want to change about her. There will always be differences and conflicts in a relationship. But if there is something truly significant about your girlfriend that you wish she would change, then that is a red flag. In the initial stages of a relationship, when your brain is bathed with love chemicals, you may be willing to overlook the flaw or even find it strangely endearing. But after several years, when the love chemicals have ebbed, this flaw may begin to grate on your soul. Remember, people seldom change, and marriage won’t make her change either. If there’s something about your girlfriend that you know deep down you can’t live with, than it’s time to move on. You’re wasting both of your times.

4. She’s your best friend. Physical attraction and chemistry are obviously crucial to any relationship. But at the core of the relationship should be a strong and deeply rooted friendship. Forty years down the line you’re both going to be soft, wrinkly, and saddled with low libidos. What’s going to hold your marriage together when you are old and gray is your friendship. Therefore, if you feel like your girlfriend is your best friend in the world, there is a very good chance that she is the one for you. Do you want to spend all your time with her? Does she make any situation from going to a ballgame to doing your taxes more enjoyable? Do you feel like you could tell her anything and that she knows more about you than anyone in the world? Yes? Well then, she’s a keeper.

5. The thought of marrying her doesn’t scare you in the least. While the image of a man shaking in his boots and having second thoughts the night before his wedding makes for good TV and movie plots, the reality is that when you are marrying the “one,” you won’t be scared at all. Throughout the entire period of dating and being engaged, up until the night before my wedding, I never had a single second thought about my impending nuptials. The only thing I felt was happiness and excited anticipation. Like all of these tips, your mileage on this one may vary. I’m not saying that if you are nervous you shouldn’t get married. But if you go back and forth every week about whether you have made the right decision, you may want to do some serious soul searching.

At a function... my future father-in-law said, “Marriage is not about finding a person you can live with, it’s about finding the person you can’t live without.” When you find that woman, you can be sure she’s the one.

So True!!!!!!!!

SCORPIO MAN

A man with a foggy clouds over him. He is sensitive and easily hurt and always feels lonely. He does not trust anyone but himself. Sounding so negative, but he has an amazingly charisma. He is a compassionate man . He absorbs other people sentimental feeling and pain.

He is a good psychiatrist and he could understand complex and confused feeling. He has a hidden power that he could use it to make things happen and do things well. He does not like people who never try to help themselves before asking other people for favors. He is the type of guy who mostly achieved his goal in life. Once he sets his mind for something, he will put all his energy and efforts in it , whether or not it is a small matter or a big project. One of the most success man in all the Zodiac.

He is a very patient man and can waits for years to reach his goal. He hates thin feeling and weak determinations. He can not retreat or rest for long, for he thinks life has more questions and more answer to be searched.

If he is in love, you will get plenty of love from him, sometimes may be too much than you have asked for. He is serious about love and relationship and will not waste time with someone he does not love whether how pretty she is.

He hardly makes mistake. He could tell if you have any bad thought, and will not hesitate to tell you so. If you do not like straight forward sincere man, then pack your bag now. If you are an over sensitive person, try not to ask for his comments. He will tell you the truth, even you might not be able to take it. Example , if you ask him if you are fat (and you are fat), he will say "yes, as big as a balloon". He makes such comments because he cares for you, so do something about your weight and do not get up set with him.

If he says "you look pretty today", you can be proud because he will not say such think just to please you if he does not really mean it. There will be both kind of people, those who like him and those who hate him. If you are in love this guy, be strong and belief in your decision, do not be vulnerable. He remembers all his anger and will wait for his pay back time.

He is very serious about your promise, do not promise something you could not keep. He loves his friends and will do anything for his close friends. He likes you to take care of him, but not in front of his friend. He is a complex man and you will never understand what he means if you do not really know him. He is happy to know he is a complex figure. When he is thinking or when he needs his privacy, you should give him some space.

He memorize everything well. You may say something that you already forgotten, but he will remember every words. He wants to be respected and admired and at the same time he does not like people to have power over him.

When he falls in love, he really falls deep. A man in this Zodiac once in love, he will be sweeter than sugar. He does not like a plain and simple woman. A complex woman's mind is his venture. Always be interesting and able to talk to him about every things in any subjects. He does not like a woman who sits around waiting for his call.

I Wish U Enough

At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her plane’s departure and standing near the door, he said to his daughter, “I love you, I wish you enough.”She said, “Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy.” They kissed good-bye and she left.He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?” “Yes, I have,” I replied.

Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.

“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?” I asked.

“I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral, ” he said.

“When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?”

He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.

“When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them,” he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Good-bye.”

He then began to sob and walked away.

RULES THAT GUYS WISHED WOMEN KNEW

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.

3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

4. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

5. Get rid of your cat.

6. Saturday + Sunday = Sports. Learn this equation

7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

8. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

9. You have too many shoes.

10. Crying is blackmail.

11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

13. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers.

14. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

15. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

16. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

17. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

18. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

19. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

20. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

21. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done, not both.

22. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

23. You have enough clothes.

24. Men are from earth; women are from earth. Deal with it.

Reasons to love

Here’s a few reasons why guys like girls… I didn’t write this… just found it years ago and thought it was worth holding on to. Seems a fitting time to re-post it.

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end makes it all worth while
8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 out side
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she’s the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. The way her hand always finds yours
13. The way they smile
14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says “lets not fight anymore” even though you know that an hour later you will be arguing about something
16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say “I love you’
18. Actually … just the way they kiss you…
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt . (even though we don’t admit it)!
23. The way they say “I miss you”
24. The way you miss them
25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn’t hurt her anymore…..

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them … it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitably consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

I've Learned

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust
and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself
to the best others can do,
but to the best you can do.
I've learned that it's not what happens to people,
It's what they do about it.
I've learned that no matter how thin you slide it,
there are always two sides.
I've learned that you should always have loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you'll see them.
I've learned that you can keep going
long after you think you can't.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
When it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual
ahead of their actions.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I've learned that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves go farther in life.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that writing,
as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon.
I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice
and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I've learned to love
and be loved.
I've learned...

White Slavery: The Slaves That Time Forgot

They came as slaves; vast human cargo transported on tall British ships bound for the Americas. They were shipped by the hundreds of thousands and included men, women, and even the youngest of children.

Whenever they rebelled or even disobeyed an order, they were punished in the harshest ways. Slave owners would hang their human property by their hands and set their hands or feet on fire as one form of punishment. They were burned alive and had their heads placed on pikes in the marketplace as a warning to other captives.

We don’t really need to go through all of the gory details, do we? After all, we know all too well the atrocities of the African slave trade. But, are we talking about African slavery?

King James II and Charles I led a continued effort to enslave the Irish. Britain’s famed Oliver Cromwell furthered this practice of dehumanizing one’s next door neighbor.

The Irish slave trade began when James II sold 30,000 Irish prisoners as slaves to the New World. His Proclamation of 1625 required Irish political prisoners be sent overseas and sold to English settlers in the West Indies. By the mid 1600s, the Irish were the main slaves sold to Antigua and Montserrat. At that time, 70% of the total population of Montserrat were Irish slaves.

Ireland quickly became the biggest source of human livestock for English merchants. The majority of the early slaves to the New World were actually white.

From 1641 to 1652, over 500,000 Irish were killed by the English and another 300,000 were sold as slaves. Ireland’s population fell from about 1,500,000 to 600,000 in one single decade. Families were ripped apart as the British did not allow Irish dads to take their wives and children with them across the Atlantic. This led to a helpless population of homeless women and children. Britain’s solution was to auction them off as well.

During the 1650s, over 100,000 Irish children between the ages of 10 and 14 were taken from their parents and sold as slaves in the West Indies, Virginia and New England. In this decade, 52,000 Irish (mostly women and children) were sold to Barbados and Virginia. Another 30,000 Irish men and women were also transported and sold to the highest bidder. In 1656, Cromwell ordered that 2000 Irish children be taken to Jamaica and sold as slaves to English settlers.

Many people today will avoid calling the Irish slaves what they truly were: Slaves. They’ll come up with terms like “Indentured Servants” to describe what occurred to the Irish. However, in most cases from the 17th and 18th centuries, Irish slaves were nothing more than human cattle.

As an example, the African slave trade was just beginning during this same period. It is well recorded that African slaves, not tainted with the stain of the hated Catholic theology and more expensive to purchase, were often treated far better than their Irish counterparts.

African slaves were very expensive during the late 1600s (50 Sterling). Irish slaves came cheap (no more than 5 Sterling). If a planter whipped or branded or beat an Irish slave to death, it was never a crime. A death was a monetary setback, but far cheaper than killing a more expensive African.

The English masters quickly began breeding the Irish women for both their own personal pleasure and for greater profit. Children of slaves were themselves slaves, which increased the size of the master’s free workforce. Even if an Irish woman somehow obtained her freedom, her kids would remain slaves of her master. Thus, Irish moms, even with this new found emancipation, would seldom abandon their kids and would remain in servitude.

In time, the English thought of a better way to use these women (in many cases, girls as young as 12) to increase their market share: The settlers began to breed Irish women and girls with African men to produce slaves with a distinct complexion. These new “mulatto” slaves brought a higher price than Irish livestock and, likewise, enabled the settlers to save money rather than purchase new African slaves.

This practice of interbreeding Irish females with African men went on for several decades and was so widespread that, in 1681, legislation was passed “forbidding the practice of mating Irish slave women to African slave men for the purpose of producing slaves for sale.” In short, it was stopped only because it interfered with the profits of a large slave transport company.

England continued to ship tens of thousands of Irish slaves for more than a century. Records state that, after the 1798 Irish Rebellion, thousands of Irish slaves were sold to both America and Australia.

There were horrible abuses of both African and Irish captives. One British ship even dumped 1,302 slaves into the Atlantic Ocean so that the crew would have plenty of food to eat.

There is little question that the Irish experienced the horrors of slavery as much (if not more in the 17th Century) as the Africans did. There is, also, very little question that those brown, tanned faces you witness in your travels to the West Indies are very likely a combination of African and Irish ancestry.

In 1839, Britain finally decided on it’s own to end it’s participation in Satan’s highway to hell and stopped transporting slaves. While their decision did not stop pirates from doing what they desired, the new law slowly concluded THIS chapter of nightmarish Irish misery.

But, if anyone, black or white, believes that slavery was only an African experience, then they’ve got it completely wrong.

Irish slavery is a subject worth remembering, not erasing from our memories. But, where are our public (and PRIVATE) schools???? Where are the history books? Why is it so seldom discussed?

Do the memories of hundreds of thousands of Irish victims merit more than a mention from an unknown writer? Or is their story to be one that their English pirates intended: To (unlike the African book) have the Irish story utterly and completely disappear as if it never happened.

None of the Irish victims ever made it back to their homeland to describe their ordeal. These are the lost slaves; the ones that time and biased history books conveniently forgot.